The Not So Twelve Days of Christmas
by Shadow-Kitsune
Summary: In tune with 'Twelve Days of Christmas'. Plenty of characters involved. Character killing? Maybe. Abuse? Could be. Fun? Definitely!


It's just a little fun with the song 'Twelve Days of Christmas'. Uh.. I don't own Yuugi-ou and have a Merry Christmas everyone, to those who celebrate it anyway.

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_On the first day of Christmas I shouted happily,_

_Seto is as tall as a treeeee!_

Seto: How ignorant. Why does everyone think I'm that tall??

-----

_On the second day of Christmas I shouted happily, _

_Jou is a blondie!_

Jou: What's that supposed to mean?

_And Seto is a very big jerk!_

Seto: -snorts_- _I AM NOT.

-----

_On the third day of Christmas I shouted happily, _

_Yugi's a midget!_

Yugi: Hey! I just haven't had my growth spurt yet…

_Jou's like a doggie!_

Jou: Just because I wore a dog suit twice does NOT mean you have to mock me.

_And Seto owns a big company!  
_  
Seto: How corny.

-----

_On the fourth day of Christmas I shouted happily, _

_Otogi has really spiky hair!_

Otogi: Yeah and don't you forget it.

_Yugi loves his Yami!_

Yugi: I do not! -pouty face- He's my best friend.

_Jou eats like a pig!_

Jou: Why are you so observant of my eating habits??

_And Seto is wa-ay too hot!_

Seto: Oh no not this issue…

-----

_On the fifth day of Christmas I shouted happily, _

_Tea sucks at dancing!_

Tea: I'm a VERY good dancer. I'd like to see you try.

_Otogi wants a servant!_

Otogi: It was a joke! I swear!

_Yugi's hair is funky!_

Yugi: How come Otogi got the hair compliment?? And my hair is waaaaay spiky-er than his!

_Jou is too short-tempered!_

Jou: **WEARING A DOG SUIT IS NO JOKE!! THAT WAS DOWNRIGHT DEGRADING!!!**

_And Seto could pass as a treeeeee!!_

Seto: I will sue you. If not I'll kill you.

-----

_On the sixth day of Christmas I shouted happily, _

_Ryou is possessed!_

Ryou: Yeah, I wish my yami would stop doing that…

_Tea rants on friendship!_

Tea: Friendship is important! Especially when you're in a tight, depressing situation and-

_Otogi is stalking Shizuka!_

Otogi: O.O'' I am not!!

_Yugi always wears leather!_

Yugi: I have my reasons. -looks around- NOT BECAUSE OF THAT **EW!**

_Jou is getting pissed!!_

Jou: **Otogi I swear if you put a hand on my sister I'll**-

_And Seto wears too many trench coats!_

Seto: If you have a problem, deal with it. I want to go home.

-----

_On the seventh day of Christmas I shouted happily, _

_Malik is a psycho!_

Malik: I've retired that name. I'm just your average person now. It's boring being normal..

_Ryou has an accent!_

Ryou: Yeah I don't know why either, I don't come from London or anything. O.o'

_Tea likes a short guy!_

Tea: O.O **WHO TOLD YOU**??? I MEAN no I don't!!!

_Otogi's gonna get beaten up!_

Otogi: What happened to the compliments?? You're just getting me into trouble!

_Yugi is a game freak!_

Yugi: I like Duel Monsters! On occasion I play with Pokémon cards…

_Jou's in love with Mai!_

Jou: Otogi you are so- Wait this one isn't about him? Oh.. I AM NOT!!! -shifts eyes in embarrassment-

_And Seto… something something treeeee!! :P_

Seto: What the heck is up with this tree business? **STOP COMPARING ME WITH IT!**

-----

_On the eighth day of Christmas I shouted happily, _

_Mai went to the dark side!_

Mai: No! I just don't have a friend, that's all.

_Malik's yami sent her to the Shadow Realm!_

Malik: That doesn't fit the tune of the song!

_Ryou's yami was sent to the Shadow Realm by Malik's yami too!_

Ryou: That really doesn't fit the tune of the song!

_Tea was never sent to the Shadow Realm!_

Tea: Then why mention it?

_Otogi's company doesn't compare with Kaiba Corp!_

Otogi: Oh sure put down MY company. I will overtake Kaiba Corp WATCH ME!!

_Yugi was almost sent to the Shadow Realm by Malik's yami!_

Yugi: That fit the tune of the song. -sarcasm- Really. It did.

_Jou fainted while dueling Malik's yami and could've won if he stayed awake!_

Jou: I was **THAT** close too!

_And Seto has a stick up his -ss!_

Seto: That's nice. It's good you didn't say tree either.

_Oops I meant a treeeeee! :D_

Seto: **DANG IT!!**

-----

_On the ninth day of Christmas, I shouted happily, _

_Mokuba's a cutie!_

Mokuba: Why thank you! :)

_Mai thinks she's sexy!_

Mai: I don't think **YOU** are either.

_Malik wears a midriff like girl!_

Malik: Hey, I'm not gay if that's what you're thinking!! O.O''…

_Ryou's hair is unnatural!_

Ryou: This is my natural color! I'm serious! **ARE YOU LISTENING??**

_Tea is not that tall!_

Tea: Yeah only because I wear platforms all the time. Sheesh!  
_  
Otogi thinks he's sexier than Mai!  
_  
Otogi: Yes I do! All the ladies love my looks, with my raven tresses and adoring jade green eyes… being conceited **HEY I'M NOT DONE**-

_Yugi finds Rebecca cute!_

Yugi: O.O'' -blushing- No I don't! She flatters me whenever I see her and we're just friends you see and-

_Jou has a thing for Kaiba!_

Jou: **WHAT THE HECK??? NO I DON'T!!!** That moneybags thinks he's so high and mighty I ought to shove his money up his-

_And Kaiba has a thing for Jou! And trees! :D_

Seto: You think I like that low life, puppy dog? And what the heck is up with trees?? I hate them they just fill land in which I should run them over and build more company buildings on. Hmph.

-----

_On the tenth day of Christmas I shouted happily, _

_Shizuka clings to her brother!_

Shizuka: I love my brother but I'm not clingy!

_Mokuba clings to his brother!_

Mokuba: ;-; I love my brother too but I do NOT cling to him. -high fives Shizuka-

_Mai should cling to Katsuya!_

Mai: I should NOT. He's the one that likes ME, **OKAY**?

_Malik doesn't cling to Isis!_

Malik: Good, I shouldn't have to either. I'm capable of doing things on my own too.

_Ryou can't cling to anyone!_

Ryou: That was preposterous! Also a tad bit lame but-

_Tea sucks at cheerleading!_

Tea: Oh no comment on me about clinging? **HOW RUDE!!** Where are my metal platforms I'll kill this person…

_Otogi wants to cling on Shizuka!_

Otogi: Yeah! I also want to- Uh oh. I forgot Jou's here. Oops.

Jou: **YOU SICK BAST-!!!!!!**

Yugi: Hey I couldn't hear the song! **JOU!!!**

_Jou's smile is cheesy!_

Jou: -beating the crap out of Otogi-

_And Kaiba clings to his treeees!!!_

Seto: I can't take much more of this. -sigh- I'm gonna call my gardener and tell him to chop all the trees down in the back of my mansion… -takes out his cell phone-

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_On the eleventh day of Christmas I shouted happily, _

_Honda emulates a unicorn!_

Honda: Finally I get a turn! But I do NOT emulate a unicorn! Whatever 'emulate' means… I don't!

_Shizuka's going to get raped!_

Shizuka: JOU HELP ME!!!

_Mokuba always gets kidnapped!_

Mokuba: … -clings to Kaiba-

_JOUNOUCHI KATSUUUUUUYAAAAA!!!!_

Mai: … Katsuya?

_Malik still plans to rule the world!_

Malik: -can't find his blue prints to rule the world- NOOO!!!!!!!

_Ryou enjoys shiny objects!_

Ryou: That was rather… random… and odd…

_Tea has many bashers!_

Tea: … **THIS IS TOTAL BULL**-

_Otogi plans to rape you-know-who!!_

Otogi: For the last time I won't do anything!!! -sees Jou glaring at him holding a sharp object- I want my lawyer. **NOW!!**

_Yugi would look cute in a cat outfit! _

Yugi: That was more random than Ryou's shiny objects…

_Jou's eyes are turning a bold shade of red!_

Jou: -chasing Otogi around Battle City-  
_  
And Kaiba gets some alone time with his brother!  
_  
Seto: It's okay Mokie they won't hurt you. -still comforting Mokuba-

-----

_On the twelve day of Christmas I shouted happily, _

_Noa's alive somewhere, out there!_

Noa: -floating around in cyberspace-

_Honda also wants to rape you-know-who!_

Honda: Uh oh. **AHHHHHHH!!!!!!**

Jou: **I'M GONNA SLICE AND DICE YOU GUYS TO CHOPPED LIVER AND SPLEENS GRRR!!!!**

Shizuka: -smiles and sits in her chair filing her nails-

_Mokuba needs a haircut!_

Mokuba: My hair's messy, I know. I have an appointment with my hairdresser actually after this segment. It'll look like my brother's hair. -gleams with delight- I'll look just like him! But cuter! :)

_Mai needs new friends!_

Mai: -sits next to Shizuka and gives her a manicure- So when is Jou free? I'd like to chat with him sometime…

_Malik you won't find those blue prints!_

Malik: …I won't? **YOU TOOK THEM DIDN'T YOU GIVE THEM BAAAACK!!!** -pouts loudly-

_Ryou needs to join Mokuba!_

Ryou: My hair is a little on the long side, I suppose. Mokuba, tell your hairdresser I'll be joining you!

_Tea has a cousin named Coffee!_

Tea: -sarcastic- Yeah and my other cousins' names are OJ and Pop Soda. T.T……

_Otogi… is well dead!_

Otogi: -dead-

_Yugi will forever be a cute little chibi!_

Yugi: **I AM NOT A CHIBI!!!!** -throws his boot at the authoress- **NOR AM I A MIDGET!!!** -throws his other boot at the authoress-

_Jou is facing murder charges!_

Jou: -currently on trial for the killings of Otogi and Honda-

_And Seto will have a Merry Christmas with his treeeee!!!!_

Seto: -singing voice- On the day of Christmas I killed the authoress…

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Yep… Total randomness.  
Mokuba and Ryou end up getting haircuts.  
Jou got off his trial coz Otogi and Honda were just out cold.  
Mai and Shizuka finished their nail treatment.  
Tea hates me.  
So does Yugi.  
And Malik.  
Noa… is still somewhere. O.o''…  
And Seto gathers everyone at his mansion to plot something against me. :)

Happy Holidays!- SK


End file.
